"Worse Things to be Called"

Memorial Day weekend 1997 included the marvelous bonus of four days off
from school.  What better to do than devote half my spare time to Civ2?
Around 11 AM Saturday I began the Foolish civilization.  My spacecraft 
reached Alpha Centauri at 12:11 PM on Sunday.
We were a peaceful people, spending most of our time researching and
developing- and doing very little expansion.  Our military was nearly
nonexistent.  One fine day in the ancient world, I decided to use a 
Diplomat to steal a city from my northen neighbor Germany.  Little did I 
know how much of a military Germany had.  However, I won.  Germany lost 
one city to me and sued for peace.  I gladly accepted. After another 
flareup because the Germans asked for tribute, things remained that way 
for centuries.  I remained lightyears ahead of all other civs in 
technology, production, and Wonders.  Eventually, I had explored most of 
the continent we were on (The world had two major continents- the large 
one Germany and I were on and a much smaller one occupied by the Romans 
and Chinese.)
Anyway, after I had put cities down here and there, I continued my quiet 
superiority... until I noticed that the Romans and Chinese were 
colonizing MY continent!  What's more, the placement of Chinese colonies 
had put a stranglehold on my development!! Well, something had to be 
done.  Since I was a century ahead of my neighbors, I could have easily 
swept them off the continent.  But those two had been hardened in battle 
against each other, and the Chinese had an enormous fleet.  There was 
only one thing to do: SEND IN THE SPIES!
A spy network began infiltrating and subverting the colonies and outlying 
cities of every other nation.  There were no incidents and I had plenty 
of money to do all this with because I had been running in a Fascist 
government ever since I built the Statue of Liberty in the 1100s.
After I had nearly doubled my territory by this method, a German emissary 
popped up and demanded tribute.  Since I had the most advanced military 
technology and cities in the world, I refused.  The Germans took one of 
my cities quickly.  I did nothing for three years, and neither did they. 
 At the end of this sitzkrieg, a tidal wave of steel poured out of my 
borders.  Upper Kodak (the city they took from me earlier, and the one, 
ironically enough, that I had stolen milennia before) was the first to 
fall.  Berlin was the second.  The Germans pleaded for peace, but got 
none.  I was on the warpath.  In under twenty years, the German 
civilzation was no more.

Then, I turned back to the Romans and Chinese.  I continued my policy of 
subverting cities until (my allies!) the Romans were reduced to six 
cities and the Chinese to one.  Then, I declared war on China and beat 
the crap out of Beijing.
	Not much more happened after that.  My spaceship had already been 
launched, and so I spent the last few years before it arrived making 
money, researching advanced technologies, and assimilating a few Roman 
cities for good measure.
	My colonists arrived on Alpha Centauri in A.D. 1873.  My final 
Civ score was around 1200 and I got remembered as Alan the Clever.

Hey, there are worse things to be called.

-ACC
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